Charley cat and the old gits

I may have mentioned at some point that we also have cats. We have three, and I thought I ought to introduce you to them, so here they are:

Firstly, Samson, aka Sammy Cat, aka the Hat (likes to sleep on your head if you're sitting on the sofa and leaning back), aka Diddle Monster, aka Fangs. Founder member of the Reservoir Cats.

Age: 13 years young
Breed: Persian x tabby
Distinguishing Features: ripped ears, incredibly fluffy back legs, slight kink in tail, scar at side of mouth.
Favourite saying: "eck"

Used to be known as "incredibly bored cat" in his youth and picked fights just for fun. Ex-champion bed mice player and duvet surfer. Recovering vole addict. Bath inspector. The boss.

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Next, Sammy's twin brother Seth, aka Teddy Bear, aka Bear. Founder member of Reservoir Cats.

Age: 13 years young
Breed: Persian x tabby
Distinguishing Features: paunch, weedy little excuse for a tail, huge pointy teeth.
Favourite Saying: "bear"

Used to bring in leaves, sticks and huge hairy spiders. Once helped rear a litter of kittens, allowing the mother to take breaks while he cleaned and played with them. Learned to miaow aged 8, now he never stops. Spends much of his time asleep or demanding ham from the neighbours.

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And finally, Charley, aka "Dat Charley Cat", aka Thug.

Age: about 4 and a half
Breed: moggie (tortoiseshell/calico and white)
Distinguishing features: piercing gaze, very short tail
Favourite saying: "meep!!"

Once caught a sparrow but fell asleep under a recliner with it between her paws. The sparrow fell asleep too and was later released, slightly damp but unharmed. Likes to stare through windows and play chase with Mollie dog. Also enjoys "bouncing" Sammy and big fat pigeons. Loves to kiss bare toes. Catnip addict.

Edit: Note to Wolfie owners - "bouncing" in this instance is similar to boofing, but smaller. ;-)