Stop! Thief!

Since we got Mollie dog, I've moved the cat bowls onto the dining table so that Mollie can't get at them. The cats get fed a pouch between them twice a day, and have biscuits down the rest of the time, and Mollie LOVES the biscuits. The reason the cats only get a pouch between the three of them is that I feed them Nature's Menu, which is extremely good quality, but isn't exactly the cheapest food around. It's very tasty, apparently. I wouldn't feed them meat at all but they get very upset if we give Mollie meat and they don't get any - to the extent that they will actually steal it from under her nose. While she's eating.

You would think that a small terrier wouldn't be able to get onto a dining table with all the chairs pushed in and table cloth on. After all, even the cats find that the addition of a table cloth makes it a bit trickier.

But you'd be wrong.

Last night, with all the cats in the living room, I heard crunching from the kitchen. It sounded like the kind of crunching that comes from a small dog with a mouth crammed full of tiny cat biscuits, eating as fast as possible because they know it's only a matter of time before they get caught.

It was.

I snuck in (I'm good at sneaking), and tried to keep a straight face while shouting "Get DOWN!!". I only had to say it once. She dutifully jumped down, still crunching, and ran into the living room, tail between legs, straight to the hall door - which I opened, saying " GO TO BED" in my most authoritative voice. She ran upstairs and we heard our bed creak.

I closed the door and looked at Tracy, who had been watching from the armchair - at which point we could contain ourselves no longer, and burst out laughing. I can't explain quite what it was that was so funny - possibly it was the way that Mollie just decided that she should go to bed. Possibly it was the way she was still munching cat biscuits as she ran upstairs.

Any ideas how we can stop her getting at the biscuits? Putting them on the kitchen side isn't an option...

Topsy Turvy

Does anyone else think there's something wrong with this picture?

Normal cat/dog house:

Owner calls dog, dog comes.
Owner calls cat, cat thinks about it, dog comes.

Our house:

I call the cats (separately or individually), the cats come.
I call the dog, the dog thinks about it, the cats come.

I think I've just highlighted a small gap in Mollie's past training. Not to mention what you can achieve with cats with the occasional, completely random, bribe of honey roast turkey off the bone...

Charley cat and the old gits

I may have mentioned at some point that we also have cats. We have three, and I thought I ought to introduce you to them, so here they are:

Firstly, Samson, aka Sammy Cat, aka the Hat (likes to sleep on your head if you're sitting on the sofa and leaning back), aka Diddle Monster, aka Fangs. Founder member of the Reservoir Cats.

Age: 13 years young
Breed: Persian x tabby
Distinguishing Features: ripped ears, incredibly fluffy back legs, slight kink in tail, scar at side of mouth.
Favourite saying: "eck"

Used to be known as "incredibly bored cat" in his youth and picked fights just for fun. Ex-champion bed mice player and duvet surfer. Recovering vole addict. Bath inspector. The boss.

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Next, Sammy's twin brother Seth, aka Teddy Bear, aka Bear. Founder member of Reservoir Cats.

Age: 13 years young
Breed: Persian x tabby
Distinguishing Features: paunch, weedy little excuse for a tail, huge pointy teeth.
Favourite Saying: "bear"

Used to bring in leaves, sticks and huge hairy spiders. Once helped rear a litter of kittens, allowing the mother to take breaks while he cleaned and played with them. Learned to miaow aged 8, now he never stops. Spends much of his time asleep or demanding ham from the neighbours.

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And finally, Charley, aka "Dat Charley Cat", aka Thug.

Age: about 4 and a half
Breed: moggie (tortoiseshell/calico and white)
Distinguishing features: piercing gaze, very short tail
Favourite saying: "meep!!"

Once caught a sparrow but fell asleep under a recliner with it between her paws. The sparrow fell asleep too and was later released, slightly damp but unharmed. Likes to stare through windows and play chase with Mollie dog. Also enjoys "bouncing" Sammy and big fat pigeons. Loves to kiss bare toes. Catnip addict.

Edit: Note to Wolfie owners - "bouncing" in this instance is similar to boofing, but smaller. ;-)